To Walk In Joy: Alesia Humphries Perseverance Story
At 5-years-old, Alesia Humphries looked around at her tiny world and knew it wasn’t where she belonged. By the time she started kindergarten, she had suffered sexual abuse at the hands of her stepfather, experienced extraordinary pain and loss, and looking within herself, she discovered one of life’s most important truths: that her indomitable spirit transcended her circumstances, and that one day, the world would know it.
“From the moment I was cognitive, I had a very deep thinking relationship with myself,” Humphries says. “I was always thinking through my experiences so that I could hold onto myself and understand other people. I was looking for connection, for compassion.” From ages 3 to 9, Humphries suffered silently through frequent sexual abuse, until her stepfather finally left. With the immediate threat removed, her focus eventually shifted from surviving the trauma to confronting it.
Throughout her adolescence and young adulthood, Humphries’ coping mechanisms carried her deeper into depression and disconnection. “I was miserable and nobody knew it,” she recalls. “I remember feeling violent and not knowing why. I was very disassociated.”
Running from her demons, Humphries strived for perfection in every area of her life. By her late 20s, she sang and modeled professionally while successfully holding down a corporate job as a production executive for a sleepwear company. She and the father of their young twins owned a house and were living comfortably. “I was who I thought I needed to be for each part and person in my life,” she recalls. “I was perfect for all of them. Perfect. Eventually, there was no room for me in my own life. There were too many parts to play, and they just got too heavy.”
At 28, her worst day began as any other–but this one ended in revelation. While working in Santa Monica, Humphries’ composure completely unraveled. Convinced that a fight with her girls’ father had triggered the episode, she agreed to see a therapist. Within the first 10 minutes the therapist asked her if she had been molested as a child. Her first response was anger, but by the end of the session Humphries had admitted the ugly truth.
“That day I vowed that I was going to get better,” she says. “I knew I had to for my children. Those girls are the only reason I’m alive today. Without them, it was just too hard to breathe.”
After two years of intense reflection and hard work, Humphries had found peace.
Today, Humphries is married to her wonderful, caring husband, Dave, and her three children embody her spirit and sense of self-worth–and they carry it with them every day. They chase after all that life has to offer with the same intensity that Humphries unleashed in rebuilding her own life. She has successfully held positions in the worlds of finance, corporate sales and media production, and today, she has returned to her creative passion–writing and producing music.
“I really am grateful for even my worst moments. They made me a seeker,” she says. “I learned firsthand that I could make my life whatever I wanted–no matter what. There are no limits.” With a deep happiness dancing in her eyes, she says, “I am amazed by how strong we are, how brave we are, how joyous we are. We are remarkable; we are indestructible. That’s what I have learned.”
By Kirsten Quinn | Photo courtesy of SchlickArt